omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!

So work approved my days-off request but GET THIS! Apparently I have vacation time coming to me so 4 out of the 5 days I’m taking off are PAID! That’s so HUGE! I was getting worried about the money thing because even though Susan makes way more than me we still use my paychecks for convenience items and our weekly ritual of dinner and a movie. Minus a week’s pay we wouldn’t be able to do that this month and with all the stuff that’s been going on I know we need the R&R.

That kinda leads me to something I’ve been hiding from you guys. I’m a wanted blob. No kidding.

I was watching TV the other day and they’re doing some general interest story about an adoption agency for dogs or something so I started to kinda drift off. I was just about to fall asleep when suddenly I see this artists’ rendition of me up on the screen - only FAT. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve slacked off in my workouts and I’ve probably been eating more junk food than usual but still, I’m not THAT bad. I’m a gelatinous monster from the murky depths of outer space, not Kirstie Alley!

So I get past the fat thing for a second and watch this “report” about how supposedly some gigantic radioactive creature has been terrorizing citizens around the city. Now I’m not one for fancy words, I’m just a simple blob from a simple family but unless your definition of terror is stalking around the city carving a swath of fire and desolation with my millions of kelvin degree heat rays and occasionally toppling a building with my energy breath then I have no idea what they’re seeing, I’m just doing what I gotta do to survive.

The streets are tough, yo. Monster out.