So Susan’s parents are coming over in a few. Had a really productive day, all things considered. Some kids tracked me from the molten pit of energy where I recharge back here to the apartment. I wake up last night at like 3am and there’s an Apache helicopter and some tanks hovering outside in the parking lot. F’n kids, man!

I crawl down the bathtub drain into the sewers and make my way about a block down and then emerge behind them, roaring and acting all drama queeny. I swear, i should be an actor! Never should’ve given that dream up. Anyhoo, we’re all fightiing and I’m letting them think it’s close but I’m just tired cause I was up late watching this show about making cash refurbishing houses. Looked kinda promising. They kept talking about how you can do it with zero money down but I’m skeptical, to be honest. If my 3 weeks on this planet have taught me anything it’s nobody gets nothing for nothing, Ya know?

Anyway the bullets are flying, I’m roaring and firing death rays from my eyes and then Susan comes out of the apartment all blurry eyed in her pajamas wondering what the hell is going on. I swear to gelatinous god I stopped right there in my tracks and started laughing. Those army guys must’ve thought I was messhugana but I didn’t care, the sight of Susan in her flannel PJs amongst all that debris and mayhem was too cute for words. It took a lot of effort but I refocused and finished off the remaining troops and went back inside where Susan was already asleep again, like nothing had happened. I was expecting an awkward morning but I guess luck was on my side cause her only comment about last night was asking whether that really bad thunderstorm kept me up too.

Yeah, I had to chuckle at that one.